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Q&A: Dating a non-believer - Focus on the Family

Relationships with Unbelievers - Voddie Baucham

Before you go down a complicated dating road, here are eight questions you must ask yourself. Before delving into any relationship with a non-believer, you really need to ask yourself this crucial question: who will come first, Christ or your partner? If the answer is Christ, your partner must understand that when it comes to the decisions you make, Christ comes first. Many Christians will get involved with non-Christians in hopes that one day their partner will find Christ and know Him. If the answer is the latter, you may be able to work with your partner and show them a new way. Your relationship with God should always come first, before your relationship with a potential spouse.

When we finally had another class together, Jeremy asked if I could drive him home he lived really close to my house and it gave us more time to talk about things.

My parents had no problem with it, and I said OK.

The Bible is clear that Christians shouldn't marry non-Christians, but what about dating? Is it okay for a believer to date an unbeliever?. I never would have considered dating a non-Christian. Not in a million years. In fact, “loves God and puts Him first” was always on the top of the list of what I was .

I drove him home for the rest of the term. Eventually, we began to do non-academic things together. I invited him over several times to my house. He came over and we along with my younger sister had a lot of fun.

Also, we went to see movies together, played in the park, etc.

Marriage — and dating on that trajectory — cannot be the beautiful union God designed it to be if he himself is not in the picture. He seems open to the idea of faith, but he's never been involved in church or anything. Is it really that big of a deal to date a non-Christian?. Letter to a Friend Engaged to a Nonbeliever gracious to us, and brought me to a saving knowledge of Christ prior to our wedding date, let me.

Although Jeremy wasn't a Christian but he did have a religious backgroundI started to like him a lot and think that maybe he was The One.

I know it was wrong — I have told myself that I shouldn't "missionary date" and should only set my eyes on men with the same beliefs I had — but I thought maybe he could be.

Q&A: Dating a non-believer

Jeremy liked a lot of the same things I did, was getting a degree in the same thing I was and prioritized a lot of the same things I did. Even a lot of our opinions were the same.

Although I continued to "fantasize" about our having a dating relationship, I never acted on these feelings and kept them to myself. Things changed when he transferred from a community college where we had both been going to a university, and I did not.

I didn't hear from him as much previously, he had e-mailed almost twice a week and, of course, didn't see him as much. But I knew, though, that we were both busy with classes and couldn't get together as much. Things continued like this until winter when Jeremy hinted that he had found someone "to spend more time with. But then this summer, Jeremy mentioned that he went to see the fireworks with another girl, whom I will call Mary.

For awhile, I just let this boil in me and it nearly destroyed me. I could stand that he had a girlfriend although I had feelings for him. What I couldn't stand was that he hid her from me for almost seven months.

It ate me up so bad, and I began to feel so down that I told my parents and a trusted friend. Both told me I needed to tell him how it made me feel and to pull back from him.

So when Jeremy started talking about getting together, I told him how I felt about his hiding Mary. He was really sorry in the e-mail, saying he "hid" Mary because he wasn't sure how I felt about him and because he hadn't told his family yet.

Dating a Non-Believer - My Story

He also said he hadn't hid anything else and wanted to mend the friendship. After that, our relationship has trickled down to almost nothing. My dad tells me I shouldn't e-mail him too much, that Jeremy should be the one asking to get together before it was almost always me.

My question is: how could I have prevented this from happening? Were there any signs that Jeremy would have been so deceptive? What should I do with our relationship now?

Do I let him go, knowing it will hurt and make me mad that I wasted almost two years of my life with him possibly ignoring other men or should I give him a second chance, since he seems to want to repair our relationship? I believe you suspect what I will say because you've already said it.

Why Is Dating a Non-Christian Such a Big Deal?

You wrote, "Jeremy wasn't a Christian. I know it was wrong. That's the bottom line.

Despite all your common interests, your affectionate feelings for one another and even your family's seeming approval of your friendship, you should not have "fantasized" about dating this young man. Jesus was clear that indulging sinful thoughts is as bad as committing the sin.

If what you mean by "this" is falling for a nonbeliever, the way to prevent it from happening is to limit your contact with nonbelievers to purely platonic friendships. That means no one-on-one outings — what casual observers would call dates. Can you engage in meaningful, truthful, vulnerable conversation with them about the things that matter most?

This is the most important area.

Are you talking to someone who doesn't have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? Before you go down a complicated dating road, here. If what you mean by “this” is falling for a nonbeliever, the way to prevent it from happening is to limit your contact with nonbelievers to purely platonic friendships. In biblical times, dating didn't really exist and the Bible doesn't mention the word. But the Bible has plenty to say about relationships, love, and.

As Christians, we are called to put God first in everything we do. Do they put God first?

Dating a non believer

When we are unequally yoked in our relationship, we will not be able to do the work that God has called us to do. Romantic relationships are one the easiest places for sin to sneak into our lives.

It is much easier to keep holiness at the center of a relationship if the other person shares that desire with you. With all those being said, I believe the answer is NO. Dating a non-believer is not a good idea. Any relationships require deeper wisdom.

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