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Should You Date a Separated Man?

Looking for deep love? Never, never date someone who is separated… Here's why…

The dangers of dating a separated man are significant. Here are some dire situations to watch for when dating a man who is still married that so many women somehow overlook. I bumped into an old flame in June and he asked me out on a date. He is currently separated from his wife and has been for almost two years. We are both in our 50s.

First, you need to get clear on exactly what it is you want from him, then ask for it and see where that takes you! It always seems like when your going through something your alone until you google and find that so many others are dealing with the same issue. I am currently dating a man who is separated.

I would NEVER date a man that is still married but unfortunately when we met he told me that he was in fact divorced. I believed him and continued with the relationship. It happened rather quickly.

We met through a mutual friend and went out on a date 2 days later. The day before our travels I met his mother, grandmother and other family members. Everyone was very welcoming and loving towards me.

When we returned home, something began to nag at my gut and I needed more answers about his divorce. So I sat with him and started asking more questions to find out that he really was not divorced. I was angry, confused, hurt and truly disappointed in him. He explained to me that he paid for a lawyer to handle the divorce for him and just before we met he reached out but did not get any answers. The next day, we talked and he came to my home to show me all the communication with his Attorny and estranged wife.

She filed for divorce 2 yrs ago and he went back to reconcile before the 90 days so that got voided. Than only a few months of trying to work it out they finally drew yo a separation agreement that he signed now over a year ago. Since our talk he has connected with his Attorny to ask about his current status and the attorney replied that he is still married but he will contact her attorney to see if any other papers have been filed with the courts.

It is a Uncontested divorce proceeding that they both agreed too from the information that I read. They do not communicate. There has only been 1 exchange since the separation and it was not a nice email that she sent to him about a bill that they both are responsible for. This man has been nothing but good to me in so many ways. He is emotional, mentally and spiritually available to me at all times. We go to church together every Sunday. His entire family thinks he is also divorced as well and did not get along very well with his wife so they also do not communicate with her.

His children are from his 1st marriage and he has a great relationship with their mom and them. I am so confused in what to do. I would appreciate any and all advice. The last thing I need and want is another broken heart. Ya know you have to risk a little to get a lot. Maybe you can be too. I wish you the best. I found your post while looking for advice for dating someone not-divorced-yet, and am so glad I did.

Re: 2 women, 3 kids. Did you have any worries along the lines of measuring up and expectations, and even him missing her?

But worry and insecurity are still is lodged in my brain. You are right to listen to the doubts in your head and to proceed cautiously. Larry and I have never hesitated to use coaches or counseling when we are trying to work through hard stuff.

I suggest the same might help you. Best of luck! What about the reverse? Mary, either way sounds fine to me.

As long as you are upfront with your dates, though no need for TMI too soon! Happy dating! I started dating a separated man a month ago we are both late 50s. Hes a year into the divorce and not final obviously a bad divorce. I get emotionally involved quickly. Like him but he works 2 extra jobs 60 hrs a week due to divorce attorney fees.

Every currently separated man I met/interacted with/dated did, in fact, married man with no intention of divorcing his wife and the currently separated man who.

How do I know if this is a good risk to take? Red flags I should look for? We dont see much of each other due to heavy workloads at work and him being tired.

Should You Date a Separated Man?

What red flags should I look for?? Afraid of getting hurt. Brenda, I think you might already see a few red flags here. Number one, he is in the middle of what you call a bad divorce, which is different than being comfortably separated, which Larry was. He and his wife had left the marriage years before and divorce was really just a formality.

Hope that helps. I am dating a man for 1 and a half years now. We met online and he said he is separated and has a kid who is now 3 yrs old. Well at that point there was nothing serious and we were countries apart as he was sailingso we started talking. Well 3 months after talking and sharing many things he confessed he has feelings for me and I did too. Well when he finally came back after his sailing after 6 months of our online chatting, we met.

And somehow we knew we were in love. We have been dating since and itz been 1. He says he needs more time to finalise the divorce because he wants to be absolutely sure where his son stands when they are divorced. And i have promised him i will be with him through this whole phase. He was truly worried about their kid of 9 and got in a kind of depression but still wanted to be with me. I said better he took his time to grieve as I started to feel less loved. He wanted to carry on dating me till a point he said he stop believing in commitment and he was needing bring in the present and go with the flow.

He respected that. After two months and a half we are again in touch. He is immersed in his work and his kid and want to meet me up but he finds difficult to find a time for that. What I read as a lot of fear or lack of interest. I am truly sad. What will you advise me to do?

Time to cut ties and move on to find someone who is emotionally available. Best of luck. Two months now. And I love him. Health insurance for chronic illness cancerand the extraordinary expense.

There are a few more complicating factors. I understand he has big things to deal with, but I need to be important too, in there somewhere. Yep, listen to yourself here, Adriana.

You deserve to have your needs met. It ought not be all about him; troubles aside. Communication with him is really important. Hi Bobbi, it does sound perfectly reasonable. A lot would depend on the circumstances true, if you wanted to get married; with the older guys, if not married and he dies; the house you create together could go to his estranged wife!

So some care does need to be taken in a deepening relationship. Like Larry, changed his status within 3 weeks…super, he was prepared to commit to you. Yep, may be red flags. I am not saying that all separated men should be considered as possible mates. We met and have been together for 2 years.

We want to marry and have kids someday, everything about the relationship is serious and we are both committed but without the divorce going through we have been unable to move on. As each day, month, year goes by… how long should I be willing to wait? Note: marriage is the only way for us to be in the same country together. What can you do? Your only choice is to stay or go, so if you want to stay, you have to stick it out.

A newly separated partner is often searching for validation and support and If the separated man is concerned that a new relationship might. There's no easy answer to the question of what the 'right time' is for dating a separated or recently divorced person. What you have to keep in. dating on tinder — dating a separated man. He was also recently separated, had a son, and came with some baggage. We started talking.

My separated man has a a lot of baggage. We have been dating for a year now. He filed for a divorce in July of We started dating at the end of July. He has two kids by his wife, and he also helped raise her other two by a previous marriage that she had.

We moved in our first apartment together in June of The final hearing should take place hopefully before My situation is different because he is committed to me and my two children.

He wants to get married and start a new life with me and my kids and his two kids too. Hi Lisa, I say this with care, but honestly, never put your life on hold for a man. Waiting for him will only keep you single. The divorce has been going through the process since the separation started as well.

Should You Date a Separated Man?

He has 2 children age 5 and 6 which started by a one night stand — turned into marriage which lasted only 3 years. That made me respect him. Taking care of his children and 2.

Being honest and upfront with me. Please give me your honest opinion. What if you set a deadline in your own mind for his divorce. We lived in a different state while not living together than his ex; however, this recently changed. Casual dating means no strings attached. The best thing to do is hold off until you feel stronger. This shows a bit of neediness on your part or a desire to feel needed.

Great article. Thank you. I got divorced 7 months ago and am over my ex, but not ready for commitment. They have been separated many times before and go back and forth. He wants to date casually and see others. I have feelings for him.

Here are some tips to best navigate the situation, where you find yourself dating a man who is separated, fresh out of his marriage but not yet fully, legally. Dating a separated man can be a challenge. You'll So, if the guy you're dating is still separated, you've got a LONG HAUL . We lived in a different state (while not living together) than his ex; however, this recently changed. woma-thinking should I date separated man. Should you Or “Do you plan on divorcing? Maybe your dating a separated man story may turn out like mine.

We really connected and attraction is super high. He thinks the same but not emotionally connected like I do. He still has feelings for his wife. Hi Shannon, Yes you are in a frustrating situation.

You did the right thing by cutting yourself out of the picture. Now make it real to heal from the situation. Then you are free to find a man who is available. At some future point, if he comes back and you are available — great, maybe it will work. Take care of yourself and then find a new man to love — one who is ready for a relationship with you. Thank you Ronnie for writing this, it truly opened my eyes. I told him to come back to me when he has a divorce date set, in the meantime it is tearing me apart waiting on them.

To me that just shows he never had any intentions to file or actually cared about losing me. Hi Jenny, There are exceptions to every rule. You sound level-headed and have your expectations in line. Enjoy and keep your eyes open. I hope it works out! Thank you Ronnie for writing this. I think if you have found someone who may be right for you, it is reasonable to take your time.

I have been dating a separated man for a year. We are actually BOTH separated. Now, men cannot be bothered. They set up coffee dates. They do whatever they can to have the woman pursue and pay for dates them. They are more interested in a power play than in developing and earning a relationship.

They want the goodies all up front, no responsibility and zero accountability and god forbid we squawk! Read article here:. Natalie encourages and saves us from ourselves but I am sick and tired of hearing how it is all OUR fault.

I just am. These, so far as I can see are my options. We keep coming here scratching our heads in sheer wonderment and utter amazement. Confounded and gobsmacked by the exception of the asshole being now the rule. I love Monty Python, but the men of today clearly had hamsters for mothers and their fathers smelled of elderberries. And we keep coming here while the men keep going to SoSuave.

Sell your snake oil elsewhere. Hear me and hear me loud: I do not nor have I lived my life with the belief that a man makes me whole and gives reason to my being.

But did I believe I would meet a man in my prime and ready age for a serious commitment of some sort not even marriage! I thought life experience, knowing myself better and being more mature and ready to take on the emotional, mental, physical and fiduciary responsibilities would be approximately after I graduated college at age Now I am smarter, have more life experience, look even more attractive and have more to offer and I am being wooed with less?

It is getting worse. One way or the other I can find it. Now I busted his balls BR fashion but he is a friend and defended his truth serum by giving me the cold harsh facts. He apologized but in fairness, it was refreshing to hear from the other side of the camp and he is not a player, a Narc, an assclown or bad seed gone to pot. He knows me. I know that. Dating for the last several years has had an effect. You can tell me until the cows come home and the sun sets in the west that I am EUM but after over a year of concerted study, self-reflection, therapy and this site, my conclusion bolstered by my nearest and dearest is that I am not.

I have been made fragile and vulnerable with this drip-drip method since of men dating me in the most obsequious ways. I admit my expectations were and steadily managed down as well as most of the women on here.

It is the insidious nature of the circumstances and when we are completely, totally and up to our ears in the mind-effery we break down and find Natalie via a Google search that I can only imagine is akin to: Am I losing my mind? What happened to men? We come here to heal.

We learn or relearn. Not solely. We are being or have been programmed. It is wrong. We are social animals and friends, relatives and what not is not the equivalent to the bond two people share in intimacy and yes, love.

Last I checked, love is the reason for our being. It is our ultimate reason to exist and this longing for love is not bad, is not wrong, is not unhealthy. It is biological. It is our greatest attribute as human beings. It is what motivates us to rise everyday even if love is not only the love of ourselves which is healthy in reasonable supply but love and devotion to our families, our children made in love?

If you're dating a separated man, watch out for these troubling situations. I bumped into him recently – he was a little drunk and all over me. With people marrying less and divorcing more, it's no wonder that the opportunity, and challenge, of dating while separated has become pretty. Why a man who'd recently separated from his wife taught me a lot about marriage .

We die for love. We sacrifice for love. We give the best of ourselves for an emotion which goes beyond our basic need to survive but infiltrates everything we do as creative, thinking, complex creatures. Love is universal and specific.

We need love. We thrive on love. We exist primarily on the throes of love. It is the binding agent in all our actions, societal and domestic.

Love is not rational. It cannot be measured it cannot be contained. Love persists so long as we are willing to persist along with it. Love is our right and honor. It makes us and it breaks us, but to deny love is to deny our humanity. Men in large droves are not interested in love. Maybe they were hurt many moons ago but so were most of us.

I may have gone crackers like Quint, but I had enough sharks to make me so and I see what I see and I know what I know and the worst part is the good women are giving up and the men are taking umbrage.

What to do? They want cheap and easily led. I feel good? It hurts to know that normal, common decency and basic manners are gone as well as this nasty mindset most men seem to now have. I think the coldest comfort is being alone, boundaries intact, sure, but alone year after year with only the few assclowns who I finally acquiesced just by sheer force of a broken will peppered in as a reminder of what I am avoiding.

I can be intimate. I can express. I can reveal. I can give. I can show gratitude. I can support. I can expect support in return. I can offer and I can demand. No game.

Dating recently separated man

No enjoyment or thrill. I have a man in my life who is both a colleague and a friend. He is 22 years my senior. Major bummer.

Now some of you may say get over the age difference but I cannot. I have tried but I cannot. He is closer to my parents age than mine and it is too steep a hill for me to climb. Yeah, I feel like good advice is always given after the fact and sometimes runs counter in the moment before we can judge the impact. Hypocrisy much? He has his stuff but he maintains a normalcy with both good and bad results for me. He is a gentleman.

The kind that holds a chair out for me wherever we dine. He is quick to grab the tab although I throw down too as this is a friendship and should. He hates it because it goes against his sensibilities but he accepts with care and gratitude. He talks to me like a human being. No one-sided convos. He learns more and more good and bad about me over time as I do him.

He can see and knows I am fragile. He treats me with care not brusque unfeeling. He listens. He supports. He is in all respects a man I would set up with any woman in her 50s who lives in the SoCal area.

He is intelligent, literate, knowledgeable without bravado and it is a mystery why he is still single although I think he gave up on the romance scene long ago. This is what men used to do! This is how men used to behave! This is how it used to be when men courted women not too long ago. He is a man of another time. He is nearing He allows me the privilege and it is as this man is a well-know established writer of import because he understands the nature of our relationship. But still, he dotes and pays attentions and recalls the minutest details of me because: he cares.

That is the difference between the men of today and the men from another generation. He rises above. And he is the sort of man I was used to back in my 20s dating both my peers and slightly older. His care and consideration is not a guise and is not alien to me as I dated men who behaved in like up until but certainly the tide changed in and every year the behavior is more gross, more shocking, more astonishing, etc.

I know good from bad. What has happened to my judgment over the past few years is that bad becomes relative. I might have suffered learned helplessness along the way. But I am not seeking it out. Nothing and I do mean there is nothing wrong with wanting that.

I may wind up alone for the majority of my life by virtue of the fact that men have given over to the most basest and primal of urges with no approbation to keep such wantonness in check by our society and by men leading by example who are too few and far between.

Men want a pack mule. I remember when years ago, men used to lament how women could take advantage, be gold-diggers, etc. You heard about on talk shows, radio, and whatnot. Have you? Did you ladies? Then stop texting. Stop excusing. Do me that one little courtesy as I keep trying to Wayne Dyer up myself, keep working on me, and keep being open to unnecessary casualties of a gender war brewing right under our noses. I adore Natalie and she saved me.

She saved me. I thought I was losing my mind. Too many of my girlfriends were willing to make excuses, justify and rationalize but are now starting to come around when the obviousness is too much to ignore.

Natalie reaffirmed rather than re-taught. I truly intended this to my a quick reply and found my fingers typing like Mozart banging the keys.

Not completely. Like it or not, men in many respects set the tone for all interactions and if we women continue to buffer, excuse, rationalize, tolerate the unacceptable then men will not roll their craptastic behavior back. It will progress. It will carry on for our daughters if it is already I believe it may be for the rest of us.

We may be victims of a social decay and perversion infiltrating ourselves with every new gadget, technological shift, online access to dating, porn and all sorts of social connections conflating the real issue at hand. We can either choose to be mules or more. Perhaps the solution is as antiquated as the Greeks. Sure, but not probable. Is this where women may be left with little recourse left to guide them?

I say yes. Women will get wise even if it takes us a century to get there. The men are currently holding all the cards and laughing in our faces as we keep trying to play a high-stakes game without any chips. There are those of us who will push away from the table and see the only way to win is not to play. We will survive but we are alone by virtue of our lack of stomaching such a high stakes game for which long-term there are only losers and no real winners. When women stop and refuse to play, then and only then, can the terms be renegotiated.

It will take I suppose the pendulum to swing so out of whack before women rise up in numbers and awareness to see with the clarity of having watched their mothers, sisters, aunts, neighbors and friends plow the field alone before they drop dead. No thanks. A Boxer I am not.

Maybe I am. I will allow this thought to disparage my aforementioned theses. Go to it. I meet and develop various relationships with men continually, and most not all are selfish, entitled and demanding of everything without any consideration to what they should offer in counterbalance.

Professional, platonic, romantic, etc. Even as a child I never thought I would get married. What we believe is so important. I had relationships that lasted years but I did not think I was ready for the responsibilities that come with marriage.

I was also honest about this with any man who was and those that were I let go because it was the right things to do. The difference between then and now is the attitude most men have today. The selfishness was not so off the charts as it is now bordering on ridiculous. Men pursued, they courted and would even wait before we became intimate.

I had mature breakups in my 20s compared to ending a relationship now when these men are acting so badly, I have to wonder if they just want us to end it.

They whine and moan and then blame. I can be very happy in a long-term relationship without marriage so long as it is happy, healthy and supportive. That about sums it up so the lights can be put out now!

I actually know someone whose youngest daughter was being wined and dined by a member of European Royalty. They had been friends for a year before dating. No expense was spared for this young lady of 20 who mixed with Royalty in Europe, was flown in private jets etc she got the full works. His mother said wait and see how you feel on your return, then if you feel the same talk to her father.

The girl in question would be described as a commoner but a stunner. So the young man returns after being incommunicado and never contacts her. In his absence the girl continued her life smart seeing her freinds including platonic male friends. That would be a major control freak red flag to me.

She is now being courted by another man who pulls Royal Rank on the other man. The lesson from this is that no matter what age or how much money men have they can still be 1st class assclowns with poor manners. The least he could have done was finished it instead of the fade out.

If men prat about with me they only get one chance then I flush for good. Right on that one and who put her there?

Yup that man or another one. The more men are told when they bust boundaries there must come a time when they stop and think but probably not. I always believe that if people are told about poor behaviour they have 2 choices….

That sorts the wheat from the chaff or the men from the boys though not many men are left standing. MR, I disagree with most of what you wrote. I believe that there has not been many changes in human behavior, but many of us have lowered our standards and have invited assholes into our lives. There are all kinds of people around. He speaks only for himself, in that moment. His way of life will quickly stale.

You may find that over time you find him less pleasant, less interesting, bitter. Oh wow! A lot of comments came in. He was being open and willing to look at his own behavior too. Now is all of this a coincidence? Porn has always been available via mags, vids, etc. Men approach me and they must be at least cordial. Not at 6 months, not 6 weeks, but a week out and blamo! I go for the brainy guys is the only shared quality I see. Divorced and settled into his singleness, yes, I am open.

Maybe I should? It bears no resemblance to mine. The bfs I had were people I met through work, friends and living arrangements.

Dining out was never a big interest of theirs or mine. When we did costs were shared, or sometimes they treated, never seemed an issue to me. There was only one who did a lot of that — expensive meals, hotels and weekend getaways.

He paid for everything at his insistence, and he was wealthy. Could never understand why, when he was so nice, kind, reliable, affectionate it never deepened emotionally. One day he just stopped calling, and I found I disnt really mind that much.

I was for him merely an escort girl of sorts. Did have perfect manners though. And if a man said that to me, about the porn, I would have difficulty in remaining friends. That glimpse of the real them — however nicely spoken they are, however middle class and well dressed — would put me right off. MR, reevaluate who you have invited into your life, and I believe you will see a pattern of unhealthy, at least I have.

The only purpose women served for your friend was sex. My God! Talk about emotionally detached! I appreciate your comment.

I apologize in any respect. Actually I agree with MR. Sure we have all been hurt but we deal with it, move on and change behaviour that may have put us in that situation. I have a friend who thinks that the men I meet are desperate and extols the virtues of online dating.

Yet many of the those same men have or are online dating. Go figure. I have been dating and falling for a man who is recently divorced; wrestling with a lot of worries and questions — mostly in my own head. I have been comparing myself to his very attractive ex wife and wondering if he would be as excited to have kids with me as he did in the past with her. I think he really does love me. He is sweet, considerate, and caring. And second I worry his sweet actions are just what he is transferring to me, from when he was with her.

I know I need to be more confident in myself, because, I think, if not, my actions are going to sabotage a potentially good relationship. But again, I want a future with him. Why am I being so crazy? Read, read and read some more. Do you see a therapist? But, I made damn sure I got as much help as I could get. You can do it to. Chin up. Forget about his ex-wife. If her beauty was everything why is he divorced from her?

What if you are picking on information from what appears a complicated constellation? Why silence the voice of your gut? Being confident in yourself starts with giving more credit to your ability to make judgments about yourself and your situation.

But just throwing it out there…ugh…one of my biggest pet peeves ever. Any person who bad-mouths their ex to their potential partners is a strict no-no. I agree totally, and this name calling and bitterness was something that made me very uncomfortable with a recently-separated man. When he then called his mother the B word, that was the kick up the arse I needed to start NC I had been dithering.

We can all have negative feelings about family members or exes, but men who routinely use either the B or even worse the C word are, to my mind, most likely misogynists. After I was divorced, my next husband had reached the ripe old age of 52 as a bachelor with only one short-term cohabitation in his whole life — and we got along famously. Lightning struck, and that was it!

Someone else here was it you??? My own prejudice is, in part, due to knowing some unmarriageable men—extreme arrested development, looking for a mother. Divorce Clown. My code word for the 1st woman a guys dates after his divorce. Divorce Clowns will cheer him up, boost his ego, give him great sex, etc. Angel, Wow…. Hi BikerGrl, Sorry you went through it too.

I cried and cried because I really found the guy desirable. I was his Divorce Clown abut 20 years ago, and it turns out…. Now when a guy tells me he is separated or newly divorced — I give no more than that brief conversation. Happy Trails to all of us single gals! So many fun things to do without dates and romantic partners! Angel, Amen to that!! I cried my heart out over him too; my mental state impacted my friendships and ability to do my job I was such a torn up mess.

Was just journaling tonight about how much I love my life which feels like a miracle given the pain I was in 6 months ago. This hit a nerve and I write this in tears. In the summer time I dated a man who I believed to be divorced but was only separated, and for less than a year. I realised too late and was heart broken.

After meeting a string of men who were afraid of commitment, I thought this man with his 18 year marriage was at least, surely, not a commitment phobe. And I liked him, a lot. Really, this brief episode was just awful. Hence, perhaps, my possibly exaggerated response to a MM making advances mentioned in last 2 posts. Mary, was it also you that posted about the gum popping coworker, too?

If so, maybe you need a change of jobs. Hi Tink I read your comment on the last post — thank you! As you know changing ourselves for the better is not an overnight process. But keep at it. We women need to stop feeling that a man is essential to making our lives complete.

This realization and new found truth has come with age. I like my life. But I can always find something to do and spend time with friends to fill the void.

I feel the need to just stay away. To reminisce is to wish for that thing you believe will make you whole. But it does. More prayers for you and Petie. But that is not the case. I still care and want to know how he is, just like he very much wants the same. Wish it were easier. I pray for strength to get through this. I was really hoping he would. Mary, Sorry you went through this and it really hurts. When most men are newly divorced they behave like Kids in a Candy Store!

So many treats to try. Best wishes for you to find a truly loving relationship. It felt good to get it off my chest. The whole on-line dating thing is also out of the window now. That is one huge candy store for EUMs of one description or another. All the best to you, too. This is so true. This marketplace view of seeing people as commodities is a frightening one. I wish I understood the importance of getting involved with a man fresh out of a breakup before it happened to me.

He was not married but has two young children with his ex. When I met him he was one year out of his relationship with her. He had lived with her and they owned a home together for 8 years. He was also 10 years older than me. Since he told me it had been a year since they broke up and she lived in another state, I believed that he had or at least was working on moving past his relationship with her. We moved full steam ahead into a relationship that seemed to be going somewhere.

A very long story short, by the time I realized that he was still emotionally attached to her I was already in hip deep. I dealt with his denial and his unwillingness to commit to me off and on for 3 years.

I broke off the relationship for good in April when on a trip together, he told me that she was coming with their two children to stay with him in his tiny apt for a few weeks in the summer.

I was floored and cried so hard. I felt like such a fool because deep in my heart I always knew that he would not commit to me because he was still playing house with her long distance she lives out of state. Natalie, I came across your blog shortly after this happened and I thank you for your insight and for sharing your experiences with us. Hi Abby — just wanted to let you know I can totally relate. You do get past it, it just takes time and sticking to NC.

My exAC told me he was divorced 4 years.

Dating a Separated Man: How Long Should You Be Patient?

I thought it was odd that he and exW seemed to text, talk and meet up excessively. At first, I minimized, because they are coparenting 3 children. He told me his exW has hardly no contact with his family since they split. He said his exW moved to the other side of town. But, my instincts started telling me something was shady. All LIES. Turns out his exW lives 1 mile from his front door. Divorced barely 1 year. Separated 4 years ago, reconciled for 2 years and divorced right before I met him.

And exW has plenty of contact with his family. As I saw recent pics of her on vacation with family. Even if she has no sincere interest, when she sniffs out he has a GF, she can jump in and cause drama. It keeps him EU. He prefers to lie and future fake, because keeping it casual is the most he can handle. And then there was the recent exGirlfriend who was also a ghost in our relationship. Another living 1 mile from his front door. AArgh, I finally got tired of negotiating, retreating, playing Columbo and feeling used.

If your in a relationship, you have to ask to speak to the exWife. Afterall, your spending time with him and his kids, so you are justified having a convo with her.

Red flag, if he balks at that request. At first I thought that was a crazy idea. But, I get it now. Thanks very much for your response Sparkle. Your story is so familiar! I also read your flashback about the ER visit. Funny how those flashes keep coming back to haunt us. They serve as a reminder to leave ACs alone.

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