Dating Advice for Awkward GuysThis site is primarily for socially awkward people who want to work on their own issues. I realize though that some of its readers are here for information and advice on someone in their lives who has social difficulties. I'm happy to try to help with that as well. One of these situations is when you're dating or married to someone who's socially awkward, or not as naturally sociable as you are. Sometimes this is a more minor issue, but it can get to a point where it's quite distressing and you wonder if the relationship will last. To back up a bit, having a socially awkward partner, and having a less sociable partner are actually two distinct issues. The first is more of an objective problem, while second is really an incompatibility in personality style and preferences.
A good self-deprecating joke says so much. I prefer it to be math or science related. I like to imagine them seeing numerical patterns in the way people move towards the cheese and crackers at a party.Could a Socially Awkward Guy Ever Find Love
My husband, who is extremely good at math, says this never happens to him. Niceness is so underrated. In dealing with grandmothers, for example. And being on elevators with aggravated strangers. And training kittens. And so much more.
This is because awkward guys are pros at overthinking things. kind of nervous when approaching new people in unfamiliar social situations. Something about photos for awkward people always turn out well, awkward. Most of their date ideas will revolve around being somewhere you guys can The (obviously) aren't the best at social interaction so they need a. It really depends on what kind of a person you are. Shy guys are mysterious. And yes, they may be socially awkward and nervous because of.
They let themselves be vulnerable. But since awkward guys are vulnerable, you can be vulnerable, too, and who knows what will happen next. Hot sex, perhaps? They often get overlooked by girls who go for the flashier, louder, more obvious guys. Even when quality is wearing a baggy shirt with a picture of a moose in a bow tie.
Which brings me to:. So you might be surprised at the results when you offer a few fashion tips. My man did not own any jeans when we met. I got him jeans. He looked amazing. He could see that he looked amazing and has never stopped wearing them.
Next I'll give some suggestions about what you can do about it. One theme that will keep coming up is that this is often as much a couple issue as it is a social skills one. Before I really get started, I'll quickly address this question. If your partner has social difficulties you may be fairly upset about the impact it's having on your relationship, and be wondering how realistic it is to expect things to improve.
It depends on several factors, but in general people have the potential to overcome their social difficulties. If they work at it they can build up their communication skills or become less shy and insecure.
Similarly, if there are some communication or problem solving weaknesses in your relationship that are getting in the way of your addressing one partner's interpersonal weaknesses, that's also something can be improved.
This is the first big section of the article. When you partner has social issues that bother you there are actually two intertwined problems you need to resolve. There's the social issues themselves, and then the fact that you have a difference or incompatibility in your relationship that you'll need to navigate and resolve. Between those two main obstacles there are a variety of factors that make the situation unique for each couple.
It'll likely help to think about all these variables and form a clear sense of what the issue looks like in your particular relationship. Another factor is whether your partner has an actual mental health or developmental condition that's known to affect the learning or application of social skills, such as Social Anxiety DisorderAsperger's Syndromeor Adult ADHD. I'll talk a bit more about this at the end of the article. If you took five couples where one member has a social issue, their partner's may all differ on how exactly they see it as problem.
More than one of the below probably applies: If your partner is shy or awkward, you can see how much they're struggling, and want to help them. Your partner's behavior is having a direct negative effect on you e. You can see your partner having a negative effect on other people e. Your partner's behavior or preferences are having a negative impact on your own social life e.
Your partner's behavior embarrasses you. You have social issues yourself, which are triggered by your partner's actions e. Your partner upsets you because they somehow violate your ideas of how people 'should' be socially e. You have a certain image of the type of partner you want to have, or the type of couple you want to be a part of, and your partner flies in the face of that e. Even if some of your views aren't the most noble sounding, such as you're embarrassed by your spouse, it's still important to acknowledge them to yourself.
You're allowed to feel what you feel. It's not like you have to tell them every last thing you're thinking about.
Down the road you may decide to try to adjust your attitudes, but for now you've at least got to be aware of what's really motivating you.
You might not know this information at the moment, but it should come up at some point. Even when you don't know everything going on in your partner's head, the points below will still influence the situation. This is the article's second big chunk. Once you've gotten a sense of what the issue is, you can try to address it.
However, in many cases you only have so much influence over how things go down. If your partner needs to make changes to their social skills, that large task is something they have to do for themselves.
Feels like women are extremely unforgiving to socially awkward guys. This statement is why you're actually doomed in the dating market. Dating advice is outside the scope of this site, with this article being a Shy guys are especially nervous about talking to women they're interested in . since their nerves and general social awkwardness kept them from getting into the game. And while not every awkward guy is amazing, as a group, they have my vote. I'm so confident about them, I married one. On our first date he.
You can just hopefully help guide them in a direction that works for you. This is something you can do throughout the entire process. If one person in a couple has a condition, it's only natural the other partner is going to have unanswered questions and worries about it.
You can do a lot to clear up your uncertainties by educating yourself on the issue. You can also get a better sense of where they're coming from, and what things are like from their end. You can do some reading to get an overall background on the situation. I think this site is a detailed resource on the social struggles people can go through, and how they can think about them. Everyone is different, so going through general information may not give you insight into every little thing your partner does or is going through, but it should help.
If your husband has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, you can read some books and websites that describe the symptoms, and what it's like to live with the communication difficulties it causes.
Inside The Mind Of Guys Who Are Shy And Inexperienced With Women
You could also find firsthand accounts by people who have it themselves. If your partner is shy, you could check out books and sites on that. If they identify as an introvert, there are plenty of sources that describe what it's like to live in a world that's geared more towards more extroverted values.
The second important way you can educate yourself and clear up any misunderstandings is to talk to your partner and hear things from their perspective.
This can be a conversation that will really bring you closer together as a couple. Ask them what things are like for them, and then listen in an open, non-judgmental way. Often we unthinkingly make assumptions about why other people act the way they do, and can be surprised when we learn what's really going through their heads.
For example, you may think someone talks too much because they're selfish and attention starved, but they really do it because they get nervous and feel they have to fill every empty second. On the link below you'll find a training series focused on how to feel at ease socially, even if you tend to overthink today.
It also covers how to avoid awkward silence, attract amazing friends, and why you don't need an "interesting life" to make interesting conversation. Click here to go to the free training.
See if there are any facets of the situation you can get handled by yourself. After all, you can't totally control your partner, but you can choose how you respond to them. First, ask yourself if there any parts of your partner's behavior you might be able to accept by changing your attitude towards them? Some examples: You accept that because your spouse has a less social personality that they're never going to be the party animal you sometimes wish they were.
I am a very socially awkward/ shy guy. Not to be braggy or anything but I am a pretty attractive guy and I use to get hit on a lot. But a lot of girls quickly lost interest. I just saw a question on yahoo answers asking women if they would date a guy who is 'nerdy and socially awkward.' Here are two of the. It wasn't for me. He was less social overall, and would've been just as content never going out. And he was socially clueless, which meant a lot of the stuff he.
You realize you worry too much about how other people may judge you for your spouse's interests, and that you need to accept that it's fine if he wants to talk to people about them. You realize you're a bit too critical of other people, and one symptom of this is expecting your partner to be perfect in social situations.
After some introspection you realize you're actually fine with your spouse's quirks, but up until now you've been unconsciously acting on values you picked up from your parents about how people 'should' act.
Next, is there anything you can do on your own to adapt to your partner's social style? For example: If you resent your shy, homebody boyfriend because you can't meet anyone through him, is it possible you just need to get better at finding new friends on your own, instead of expecting to form your social life around people he introduces you too?
Things You Need To Know About Dating An Awkward Guy
If your spouse is sometimes awkward at parties, is there a way you can respectfully and politely warn other people about him in advance, and tell them the best way to act around him? He doesn't realize when he's doing it, and actually appreciates it when people stop him and point it out. Of course, you won't be able to accept or adapt to everything about your mate. For that you'll first need to Some of you have already done this step.
However, it's just as likely you've kept your feelings close to your chest, or you've only expressed them through the odd little comment. When it comes to getting together to hang out, it's always good to come prepared with a plan. Even if, at the back of his mind, he knows exactly what he prefers to do. He will always want to please you first.
Rather, he will be more likely to ask you what you prefer to do. Or where or what you want to eat, before making his suggestion. Again, he's just being accommodating and sensitive to your needs. Don't be frustrated, this is actually a compliment. Again, this is why the bold girl and the awkward guy make a good pair, because she isn't afraid to take the lead from time to time.
This is what makes dating an awkward guy so special, they just ooze a genuine kindness and selflessness that cannot be faked. If you find yourself dating an awkward guy - yes, it may be a bit frustrating at times, but know that these dudes are true unicorns that don't come around very often. Once again, awkward guys radiate this genuine and pure kindness and selflessness that just cannot be easily faked.
As a result, they make great partners. Again, it all stems from their natural empathetic mind-set.
Dating socially awkward guys
They can't stand the idea of hurting someone they love. So they just don't do it. Simple as that. This also means that awkward guys are extremely loyal. Its really the opposite, the awkward guy knows how to truly appreciate a great girls when he's found one. And will make sure to show her his appreciation regularly. No one will make you feel as secure as an awkward guy. And the key to keeping things alive is always learning from each other knowledge and experience.
The awkward guys tend to be on the intellectual side. They love to read and nerd out over a good book or documentary.